Do you wear gloves every time you want to touch something? Probably not, yet figuratively we often do. We avoid direct touch by emotionally dressing and primping, adding clothes, putting on gloves if you will. It's as if we cover up who we really are.
When we knowingly or unknowingly add layers of clothes, we add layers that keep us from really feeling or experiencing the world around us. It may start with a thin layer of protection, but quickly becomes many layers that begin a state of loneliness reducing our joy.
Equate this to putting on a pair of gloves every time we touch something, then forgetting we have our gloves on, and then complaining because nothing feels real.
It's been said that we are all bald beneath our hair, yet we spend so much time emotionally covering and dressing up. We all want to be loved, and behind all insecurity and anger is a wound waiting to be healed. Too many layers impede that healing.
The same applies to our senses as well. Perhaps our challenge each day is not so much to get dressed up to face the world, but rather to unglove ourselves so we can feel that handshake, the cold doorknob, the wetness of the rain, the unique and unrepeatable goodbye kiss from another human being, the taste of every morsel of food, and so on.
Behind sadness is the scar of fear and scarcity. I challenge you to look for people, things, and experiences to find, explore, feel without layers, and appreciate - to discover and feel the joy in the ordinary all around you. It can begin with each breath and undress yourself of your mood, beliefs, and history. Feel your skin beneath your clothes, and your insides beneath your skin. Take a break and enjoy this time. Life may become so much more delicious for you!
You can do this in your golf game too!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tiger Woods - How We Define Heroes?
Witnessing the travails of Tiger Woods and especially his “pronouncement,” it really hit home that our, or maybe more appropriately my definition of a “hero” has really been off base. Here is a man who happens to get a little ball into a hole better than everyone else and who also has a pleasing appearance, and all of a sudden is a “hero.” We fashion immense wealth and fame upon people who simply sing, act, or perform in their craft or sport, and then define them as heroes and role models when we hardly know them. As with the case of Tiger Woods, he and his handlers and sponsors have carefully crafted a facade that was hardly authentic, though probably not on purpose. Looking forward I may want to be more discerning about whether I have validated these messages.
Do I blame Woods or his handlers? No. The key decision-maker is right in front of me in the mirror. This Woods episode has reminded me that celebrities do not deserve “hero status,” simply “celebrity status” whatever shallow meaning that has. My admiration or adulation of them will do nothing to improve my life or those around me. They are simply folks chasing their dream. Maybe we should be less concerned with their dreams and more concerned with our own and those we love and care about.
Yes, as regards Tiger Woods, he is still a hero and a role model on how to play the game of golf, though his club slamming and cursing were already tarnishing that image. May he become a genuine hero someday? Yes, anything is possible and he could be an admirable one. For now it is a reminder that I never should have given him that hero status, but based upon his persona and his charitable acts, he was a worthy candidate. As Tiger Woods has been quoted in the spring of 2009, “The public knows me about as well as they need to.” Those are not the feelings or statement of a giving hero. Tiger Woods’ actions and not his words will define his legacy to his family, friends, and us.
It is patriotic and politically correct to term those defending our country as heroes, but they indeed are REAL HEROES. So too are untold numbers of people who clean, serve, hire, train, lead, transport, protect, grow, build, inspire, explore, treat, process, teach, prepare, nurture, save, or comfort others everyday, day after day because it is the right thing to do. They include the innovators and the entrepreneurs, parents, children, senior citizens, teachers, friends, and the workers and leaders in every corner of the world. They operate from love, duty, integrity, charity, and hopefully joy, passion, and enthusiasm. They are not defined or identified by their job title if they even have one. Think about it, you probably come in contact with dozens of these heroes every day. Thank them and model them for they are the real heroes – and just maybe, you are one of them too!
One final thought, why watch others chasing their dreams when you could be chasing your own? It is never too late to finish strong.
Golfer or not, I invite you to visit www.golfshigherplane.com where hopefully you will find the message bigger than sports.
Do I blame Woods or his handlers? No. The key decision-maker is right in front of me in the mirror. This Woods episode has reminded me that celebrities do not deserve “hero status,” simply “celebrity status” whatever shallow meaning that has. My admiration or adulation of them will do nothing to improve my life or those around me. They are simply folks chasing their dream. Maybe we should be less concerned with their dreams and more concerned with our own and those we love and care about.
Yes, as regards Tiger Woods, he is still a hero and a role model on how to play the game of golf, though his club slamming and cursing were already tarnishing that image. May he become a genuine hero someday? Yes, anything is possible and he could be an admirable one. For now it is a reminder that I never should have given him that hero status, but based upon his persona and his charitable acts, he was a worthy candidate. As Tiger Woods has been quoted in the spring of 2009, “The public knows me about as well as they need to.” Those are not the feelings or statement of a giving hero. Tiger Woods’ actions and not his words will define his legacy to his family, friends, and us.
It is patriotic and politically correct to term those defending our country as heroes, but they indeed are REAL HEROES. So too are untold numbers of people who clean, serve, hire, train, lead, transport, protect, grow, build, inspire, explore, treat, process, teach, prepare, nurture, save, or comfort others everyday, day after day because it is the right thing to do. They include the innovators and the entrepreneurs, parents, children, senior citizens, teachers, friends, and the workers and leaders in every corner of the world. They operate from love, duty, integrity, charity, and hopefully joy, passion, and enthusiasm. They are not defined or identified by their job title if they even have one. Think about it, you probably come in contact with dozens of these heroes every day. Thank them and model them for they are the real heroes – and just maybe, you are one of them too!
One final thought, why watch others chasing their dreams when you could be chasing your own? It is never too late to finish strong.
Golfer or not, I invite you to visit www.golfshigherplane.com where hopefully you will find the message bigger than sports.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Being in the moment is crucial for capturing your best performance in golf and beyond. Relish everything about the present, even your nerves and anxiety, and circumstances you may not even like. I have long preached "being comfortable with being uncomfortable." Interestingly, long-time golf pro, Dennis Tiziani told his son-in-law, PGA TOUR player Steve Stricker, almost exactly the same thing early in the 2010 season.
Whether struggling or in the groove, continue to focus on everything in the present tense. This can include your breathing and your surroundings, but always your target. This can translate into either aggressive or conservative play, but the critical thing is that you are not focused upon the past or the future. Being focused upon yourself and your surroundings in the present is the essence of spiritualism in practice. You will then know when to play conservatively or to take prudent chances.
The ego loves a battle and is always creating foes in either the past or future. By embracing the present, you quiet the ego, your "monkey mind." Recognizing fear or that you are uncomfortable is the best way to do just this. It calls your ego on the carpet saying "I know you, you can't mess with me." YOU and not your ego is then in control. Relish anything in golf or beyond that makes you feel uncomfortable; while others are squirming you will develop an unusual, but relevant comfort zone. (This is exactly what Tiger Woods does.)
Whether struggling or in the groove, continue to focus on everything in the present tense. This can include your breathing and your surroundings, but always your target. This can translate into either aggressive or conservative play, but the critical thing is that you are not focused upon the past or the future. Being focused upon yourself and your surroundings in the present is the essence of spiritualism in practice. You will then know when to play conservatively or to take prudent chances.
The ego loves a battle and is always creating foes in either the past or future. By embracing the present, you quiet the ego, your "monkey mind." Recognizing fear or that you are uncomfortable is the best way to do just this. It calls your ego on the carpet saying "I know you, you can't mess with me." YOU and not your ego is then in control. Relish anything in golf or beyond that makes you feel uncomfortable; while others are squirming you will develop an unusual, but relevant comfort zone. (This is exactly what Tiger Woods does.)
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